This depression goes in waves.  For about a week or so, I am good and then it goes down hill, way down hill, and then eventually comes back up.  Right now I feel like I am on a slippery slope downward and I can’t make it stop.  But this is not the time.  I have a week and a half of summer classes left, I am trying to get in some sort of shape for my trip to Mexico, I have this new roommate who does not know me and has just seen me curled up on the bed every night for the last few nights.  Right now is not the time.  I do not like this.  I do not like my lack of control over it.  I hate these bad days I just want them to end.  Every time I talk to Greysis as of late he tells me how much he wants to come home; that he misses his Wisconsin and his Eau Claire and his family.  This has gone so much longer than either of us planned and neither of us were prepared for this.  I was prepared for four to six months tops.  Now we’re coming up on nine months since he left and I am not any closer to feeling less cuckoo.  Just feeling more cuckoo, more sad, more lonely and more tired.  I need to focus.  I have school.  I have to get through this.  I have one semester left of classes and then my thesis and I am done.  I just need to get through this and yet I cannot seem to muster up enough energy to sit myself up straight and actually do the work I need to do.  I am tired of the up and down waves.  I am tired of this process.  I am tired.